Archives for March 2016

Forgive me for talking about this… 

March 24, 2016 6 Comments

 

One morning, I was dreaming about a situation that happened just a year ago. A conflict with someone, whose behaviour I didn’t resonate with.  In my dream, I could see how much I needed to be righteous because they had crossed my boundaries and their behaviour was unacceptable. I was simply right.

I say that with Canadian sarcasm.

1R0A0018-SmallClearly looking back on it, something was missing. The respect I wished from her was clearly missing in me. And I could see that it was still cropping up in my dreams because underlying it all was a lack of forgiveness. Forgiveness of her for crossing my boundaries. Forgiveness of myself, for not being clearer in my needs. Forgiveness of myself for carrying that unresolved garbage around, affecting my own leadership.

Research has shown that people have the ability to sense and feel emotion, even without seeing your expression. Carrying anger and regret around affects your authenticity and credibility. I fall into this trap as much as the next person. It’s why I’m so dedicated to doing my self-work.

Forgiveness it not about condoning wrong acts. It’s about releasing your attachment and anger around that act. You can forgive someone and still hold them accountable.

A powerful action you can take right now: start to notice one colleague you’re annoyed with (this also works with family members if you can’t think of a colleague). Forgive them. Notice if the way your treating them is reflected in they way they are treating you. Notice your part of the breakdown. Forgive yourself.

If possible, have a powerful conversation with them to get things cleaned up. But if a conversation is not possible, then write about it.

It will make a big difference to your leadership and influence.

Affirmation – Today I forgive powerfully.